If we simply step out and do the thing we’re are afraid to do, rewards will follow. Oscar-winners, best-selling authors, record-breaking athletes… all iterate this philosophy. Variations on this meme we’ve heard all our lives: in matters of love, go for it; in commerce, all it takes is hard work. If you want it badly enough, you’ll get it. And, of course: Follow Your Dreams.
Well, hell, if it were that easy…
A jaded perspective is not what I’m going for here. More of a tempered realism. Hard-working people don’t always get what they want. Even the smartest, bravest ones.
The insightful comments (thank you!) on last week’s blog, I want to be your Studs, reminded me that while most of us have the luxury of pondering meaning (instead of finding water and food, avoiding bombs and bullets) some of us don’t derive meaning from what we do for a living. Another jewel is that meaning could be as diverse as our fingerprints.
A quick paraphrase:
1. Meaning does not come from the job itself. One commenter said that relationships built at work, the support she and co-workers provide each other, is the meaning. Another said he only finds meaning in friends, family, travel and he’s quite happy.
2. I’m too busy working to think about meaning. Working for herself (a definite stepping out to do the thing she loves) requires a lot of work for clients, many of whom suck the joy out of work. She wants the luxury of choosing clients who challenge her.
3. I left hell a long time ago. A few commenters make less money but are beyond second-guessing the decision to leave corporate life because it was toxic.
4. Meaning and happiness are different. Workers may be satisfied (the way researchers tend to measure job happiness) but find little or no meaning in what they do. Perhaps vice versa, as well.
5. I feel like a failure because I don’t financially support myself. This comment came from a young professional, but spoke loudly to me. I sometimes feel this way, although I have a supportive spouse and live comfortably. We can all differentiate meaning and happiness and financial success but on an emotional level (?) we can be enticed to believe they all belong together. And that we deserve them.
Here is one of my favorite quotes from Working (1972). Maybe it’s about meaning or happiness or yearning or just habit. Studs Terkel interviewed a stonemason who said this about what he does. I always hear a poem:
Stone’s my life. I daydream all the time, most times it’s on stone. Oh, I’m gonna build me a stone cabin down on the Green River. I’m gonna build stone cabinets in the kitchen. That stone door’s gonna be awful heavy and I don’t know how to attach the hinges. I’ve got to figure out how to make a stone roof. That’s the kind of thing. All my dreams, it seems like it’s got to have a piece of rock mixed in it (xlvii).
Maybe meaning is what you dream. What little piece is mixed in yours?
Worker Writes 
3 replies on “Your dream’s little piece of stone”
This post makes me think of two women in my life who have molded my perception of working and making a living.
One of them is an eternal entrepreneur. She represents everything I aspire to be — aggressive, dynamic, centered, open and ready to capitalize on a situation at a moment’s notice. She knows the skills she has, is always looking to add new ones, and is constantly looking for ways to make a living using them outside of the traditional workforce system. Unfortunately, I see her road as being a long and hard one, because the way our society is structured doesn’t reward her lack of degree or her commitment to work-life balance and community. I hold out hope that more people like her will eventually join forces and start a revolution.
The other woman leaves her mark by the pure and simple mantra she relayed to me recently: “If you don’t make time [to develop the job or career you aspire to], then you don’t want it bad enough.” I love her excuse-free attitude, because it puts the weight of the responsibility on the worker’s shoulders. At the end of the day, we all live in a capitalistic society. There is always a way (however difficult) to create demand (however minute) for a service you want to provide. The question is, are you willing to endure the potential hardship to risk the security blanket (however soul-draining) of the corporate workforce? Some people may honestly answer “No, I’m not willing to risk it,” and possibly for very good reasons. Happiness is subjective.
I’m not sure what my answer is yet.
Sign me up for that revolution.
As for the second woman, I get the making time or else you don’t want it badly enough, but it’s not that simple or we’d see five times (at least) more female millionaires, fewer women (and men) who stay or return to low-paying jobs. There’s a whole lop-sided legal system that favors corporations. There’s the fact of single parenthood, which primarily affects women. I’m sure you acknowledge those things and more. I don’t mind weight on my shoulders, but I can’t succeed if they’re crushed.
I totally get what you’re saying. I’m sure it’s possible to risk everything in your life for something and still come up empty-handed, especially given the unfairness and obstacles sitting around every corner. I think what I like most about the second woman I referenced is that she makes it clear that unless you make time to try, to really TRY in spite of those things in your way, then you have no right to complain.
It’s a mental kick in the butt that I like to give myself every now and then, to keep me honest with myself.